Catalyst Strategic Consultants

What could possibly drive a President to a dark place? After all, you have lots of money, people paying attention to what you say; power; position.

But there is a surprising frequency of depression among such leaders. What’s up?

My buddy Rick Eigenbrod and I got to talking and he scouted out some revealing info on depression.

First, it is not [often] organic or chemical. Nor is it a matter of “mood”. So what is behind extended feelings of being down, of losing drive, sensing an underlying purposelessness that cannot be assuaged by a new car or toy?

It is a disease of aloneness. Detachment. Back in the 50’s, John Bowlby demonstrated what happens when humans suffer either from failure or interruption of proper attachment in early life. Attached means bonded, particularly to the mother. A well attached child is in constant physical touch with her mother and from that basis, builds confidence to go into the world and explore. If it doesn’t happen properly or if the mother was taken away, the patterns called “prototypes of human sorrow” follow. The young children [in experiments where the Mothers would leave them at a care center] would protest [cry inconsolably]. If that didn’t work to bring back Mom, then they would fall into despair. Last stage was a curious unfeeling, of hopelessness and, one would speculate, based on other research, would end in a condition called “failure to thrive”. In post War orphanages, untouched, isolated victims just couldn’t make it in the world, wouldn’t integrate, had no zest and didn’t live long, despite having proper food and shelter.

The problem with the attention that Presidents receive is that it’s all so conditional. Everybody wants something. There isn’t authentic unbounded affection to be fully given to them. They are disconnected from emotional affection. So there is always reserve, guard up.

Acting out through affairs or alcohol or attention seeking are poor attempts to fight it.

 

A version Jerry Harvey – a TEC resource – talks about is anaclitic depression. We are herd animals and depended [in our bred-in past] on belonging to the tribe for our survival. That’s why, in times when the Church held sway, excommunication was such a potent punishment. To be persona non grata in your Middle Ages town? – well, pretty soon you would end up on your knees in front of the priest. Anaclitic depression arises when following your requirements or interests conflicts with those of the community. Risk of separation has profound impacts on wellbeing.

So when we take stances that are in our interest but don’t work for the herd, we are testing the limits. Presidents do this all the time!

The risk? “A person, system or structure that provides support may be [or is] taken away.” Depression rising.

Presidents feel responsible for everything but nurtured by no one. You get money, status and position. As one of my teachers in therapy said “You can’t get enough of what you don’t need.” Some are fortunate to have recourse to unreserved, unconditional attention from someone they love and value. They are the lucky ones.

Presidents do things – ostensibly for other people – but there is no real return. That builds resentment and isolation. Profoundly untouched, their reserves of good will are constantly being drained by confrontation, disappointment and manipulation.

The antidote to depression? Human warmth and touching.

I can just sense the hackles rising. “Get over it!”

Well, you can go there if you want. Elemental human make up will prevail, I believe. And that sort of empty exhortation just exacerbates the impact that is already compounded by an increasingly isolating and fragmented world.

One TEC member said, “I come here to feel normal”. A community of CEOs mitigates the isolation. A remarkable statistic. 66% of CEOs are part of a peer advisory group.

In TEC, Presidents are validated, comforted. From that base, we can uniquely understand and guide action, which often involves walking a lonely path. But with support in your corner.

What could possibly drive a President to a dark place? After all, you have lots of money, people paying attention to what you say; power; position.

 

But there is a surprising frequency of depression among such leaders. What’s up?

 

My buddy Rick Eigenbrod and I got to talking and he scouted out some revealing info on depression.

 

First, it is not [often] organic or chemical. Nor is it a matter of “mood”. So what is behind extended feelings of being down, of losing drive, sensing an underlying purposelessness that cannot be assuaged by a new car or toy?

 

It is a disease of aloneness. Detachment. Back in the 50’s, John Bowlby demonstrated what happens when humans suffer either from failure or interruption of proper attachment in early life. Attached means bonded, particularly to the mother. A well attached child is in constant physical touch with her mother and from that basis, builds confidence to go into the world and explore. If it doesn’t happen properly or if the mother was taken away, the patterns called “prototypes of human sorrow” follow. The young children [in experiments where the Mothers would leave them at a care center] would protest [cry inconsolably]. If that didn’t work to bring back Mom, then they would fall into despair. Last stage was a curious unfeeling, of hopelessness and, one would speculate, based on other research, would end in a condition called “failure to thrive”. In post War orphanages, untouched, isolated victims just couldn’t make it in the world, wouldn’t integrate, had no zest and didn’t live long, despite having proper food and shelter.

 

The problem with the attention that Presidents receive is that it’s all so conditional. Everybody wants something. There isn’t authentic unbounded affection to be fully given to them. They are disconnected from emotional affection. So there is always reserve, guard up.

 

Acting out through affairs or alcohol or attention seeking are poor attempts to fight it.

 

A version Jerry Harvey – a TEC resource – talks about is anaclitic depression. We are herd animals and depended [in our bred-in past] on belonging to the tribe for our survival. That’s why, in times when the Church held sway, excommunication was such a potent punishment. To be persona non grata in your Middle Ages town? – well, pretty soon you would end up on your knees in front of the priest.   Anaclitic depression arises when following your requirements or interests conflicts with those of the community. Risk of separation has profound impacts on wellbeing.

 

So when we take stances that are in our interest but don’t work for the herd, we are testing the limits. Presidents do this all the time!

 

The risk? “A person, system or structure that provides support may be [or is] taken away.” Depression rising.

 

Presidents feel responsible for everything but nurtured by no one. You get money, status and position. As one of my teachers in therapy said “You can’t get enough of what you don’t need.” Some are fortunate to have recourse to unreserved, unconditional attention from someone they love and value. They are the lucky ones.

 

Presidents do things – ostensibly for other people – but there is no real return. That builds resentment and isolation. Profoundly untouched, their reserves of good will are constantly being drained by confrontation, disappointment and manipulation.

 

The antidote to depression? Human warmth and touching.

 

I can just sense the hackles rising. “Get over it!”

 

Well, you can go there if you want. Elemental human make up will prevail, I believe. And that sort of empty exhortation just exacerbates the impact that is already compounded by an increasingly isolating and fragmented world.

 

One TEC member said, “I come here to feel normal”. A community of CEOs mitigates the isolation. A remarkable statistic. 66% of CEOs are part of a peer advisory group.

 

In TEC, Presidents are validated, comforted. From that base, we can uniquely understand and guide action, which often involves walking a lonely path. But with support in your corner.

 

Sincerely,
Doug Bouey
Catalyst Strategic Consultants Ltd.